In case you’re wondering why I haven’t written a knitting post in a while, it’s because this shawl is hijacking my knitting life; I think I die a little bit inside each time I reach over to pick this project up.  I average about one row a night.  ONE! I’m afraid to start another project, for fear of “startitis” and then I’ll never finish it.  I can’t just give up, because I’m so close.  I have a stack of knitting books and patterns, other WIP’s collecting dust, a bookcase full of yarn, and bare needles lined up so neatly just waiting to be used, those filthy whores.  Even with all that temptation, I have to avert my eyes and be a responsible adult!  I have to finish what I start!  I have to conquer this beast to save my pride!

Fuck you, Shawl!

Fuck you, Shawl!

I’m at this point where I just want to bury my head deep into this shawl and just get it over with.  It’s just not fun anymore.  This fucking pattern repeat is so. damn. tedious: k2tog, yo, k2, p2, yo…like a naggy little bitch, on and on and on and freakin’ on over a thousand stitches!  It’s tearing me apart!!  Do you understand?!?  This is a cry for help!

I have dreams that I’m being chased down the dock by giant circular needles.  They tie me up with lace-weight yarn and throw me into the marina and they laugh maniacally.  Captain Hook is there too.  But why?!?!

Someone please slap me with some Malabrigo yarn and US7 needles and wake me up from this hell-hole.  Save me from this monstrosity of a shawl!

Whew…Sorry, that got a little intense.

The good news is that today is Friday and I heard the devil takes Friday off so he can hang out with frat boys.  I have no responsibilities, no plans, and damn it all if I have any distractions.  I’m busting a move on this piece of shit shawl.  I’m going to dance all over its face tonight.  Oh ya, that’s right [enter fierce grunting noises here]….Just me, this shawl, and a bottle of wine.  This shit is ON!