Dear Designer of Cardigan,

Last night I said some things.  I said some hurtful things.  About you and about your ability to design.  I made fun of your ability to produce a proper gauge.  I laughed at your expense.  I was upset, you see.  Upset because I couldn’t get the same gauge as you.  I tried three different needle sizes.  I made substantial sized swatches with each.  I cursed you because after all that, I still couldn’t get the right gauge.

Your gauge: 26 sts and 37 rows = 4 inches on US4 needles with sport weight yarn.

I picked out some DK weight (which is only slightly heavier than sport weight) and grabbed my size 5’s because I was nervous about creating too dense of a fabric (since I’m a tight knitter).  I had 26 sts = 4.75 inches.  So I did the next logical thing: moved up a needle size… three times.  “Why is my swatch getting bigger?!  How are you getting your gauge?!” I cursed and screamed to the heavens and shook my fist violently in the direction that I assumed you were located.  Then I realized, that’s not right.  Turns out, I’m the idiot.  Want more stitches per inch?  Go down a needle size.

So you see, that was my bad.  And I’m sorry I got mad at you for my own stupidity.  Turns out, I’m not so good at math and logical reasoning when I’ve been drinking.

I humbly apologize and take back everything I said.  You’re a great designer and I love this cardigan.  You’re right and I’m wrong.  Let’s hang out sometime and I’ll buy you a drink.

Sincerely,

Complete Idiot

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