Remember bedtime when you were a kid? It always came too soon and you were always in the middle of something fun. It didn’t matter how tired you were; sleep was not an option. I’ll sleep when I’m dead, you’d tell yourself. Except you probably didn’t, because kids don’t talk like that. I probably said something else like, “but moooooooom…..I don’t wannaaaaaa….” Regardless, you get older. Work days get longer. Beer drinking gets rougher. Life is just plain harder. Sleep is the only option. Nap time is actually something you look forward too.
Occasionally, something happens. It starts out so small you don’t even realize it’s happening. A simple bargain with yourself: just 5 more minutes. Next thing you know, it’s 1:30 am on a work night, you’re still wearing your jeans, your teeth haven’t been brushed, and half a pan of brownies has disappeared…probably in your belly. Look. Is it there? You look at the ground, too humiliated to look anyone in the eye, your toe traces a brownie crumb on the ground, as you sheepishly answer, “maybe….yes” and a faint trace of brownie breath escapes your mouth. Sigh.
Here’s a totally and completely hypothetical situation that could happen to you. Or me. But it didn’t happen to me, if that’s what you’re thinking.
Sunday 9:30 pm: Come home from a bbq, tired, but it’s still early enough to do a little knitting. Check in on the progress of sweater.
Lookin’ good! A self-congratulatory wink and pat on the back as you tell yourself that you’re hot shit. Freshy, you’re hot shit! Thanks! Feeling extra confident in your knitting skills, you sit down to start the decrease for the armholes.
10:20 pm: Getting close to bedtime (which is surprisingly earlier than it was when I was 16…) but you’re only halfway through the decreases. It’s best to keep going, obviously. I mean, what if your gauge changes between tonight and tomorrow? You never know. Best to air on the side of caution and finish up the back. Besides, you’re already so close to finishing it anyways. Why wait until tomorrow when you can knit today? PS: That’s the only time when that logic works for me. Usually tomorrow is always a better time to do things.
11:00 pm: Back is finished and bound off. Time for bed. Or is it? I guess it would make sense to just pin it out and see how it looks. You know, make sure that the fit is right.
11:15 pm: Pin it against a favorite sweater to check the fit. Everything looks copacetic.
You can go to sleep satisfied with your night’s work. Make your way to the bathroom still a little elated about your handiwork. Start looking forward to tomorrow’s knitting lineup: the fronts. Look back towards the knitting corner and realize that all the yarn is still in hanks and that they will not wind themselves into balls overnight.
11:30 pm: You’re standing in the kitchen, yarn draped over the silverware drawer, whisk in one hand. You’re watching Return of the King, because you can. The winding process is slow, because you lack a swift and ball winder, but it reminds you of that one part in Heidi (you know, with Shirley Temple?) and you laugh a little laugh and sing that stupid Heidi song, because you’re tired and delirious! But you can’t stop yourself!!
11:45 pm: Two balls of yarn have been wound. They’re now sitting neatly on your coffee table. Pretty center-pull balls. So pretty you just want to start casting on. Why not? Now’s the perfect time, since your plan is fresh in your brain: knit both right and left fronts at the same time. Let’s just start it and see how it goes. Besides, Frodo has yet to destroy the ring.
1:00 am: The bottom ribbing for both fronts is complete. Your eyes are dry, your back is stiff, and your arthritis is acting up in your left hand. It’s no matter, it was so worth it, you exclaim wearily and make your way into the bedroom.
1:05 am: Begin posing yarn for photoshoot. K2P2 insisted.
You know, this could have happened. I’m not saying it did. Because it didn’t.