Or I should say: the Freshy’s been lazy and has abandoned post (har har). I think about knitting like I think about going to the pool to do laps, which is often and hardly leads to any real action. I wish just thinking about something would produce results. Unfortunately, my mental faculties are the only thing living in the land of make believe and that sort of thing doesn’t happen in the realm of reality. pshh…physics…. Well after a month or so of sitting and thinking, I have finally decided to take action. Hoozah! Let’s hear it for the TO DO LIST!
1. Upload your photos from Argentina. Really, this is getting ridiculous. Also your memory card is full, genius. Perhaps you should consider uploading all your pictures so you can take more pictures of yarn. Duuh.
2. Put your clothes away. It’s bad enough that it deters you from inviting people over, but it’s getting rather tiresome curling into a small ball in the corner of the bed. Ya, that’s gross. Fix that.
3. Clean your desk. I’m pretty sure there’s a spider infestation in there and they’re getting bigger every time I see one. I’d rather not wake up to a giant spider hovering above my head ready to bite my face off. Although, come to think of it, the spider infestation might be coming from the pile of clothes on the bed….Whatever. Just. Please…take care of that. Thanks.
4. See those half finished socks? They’re sad because they don’t have heels. Knit them some fucking heels already. ‘Nuff said.
5. Your plant is dying. It is dead. Dead plants scare other living plants. Living plants look at me with scornful eyes. Please bury dead plant and buy new happy living plant to boost morale.
6. Listen, it’s not right that you sleep in so late everyday. Do yourself a favor, wake up early and go to the pool. I know the dolphin-human hybrids intimidate you, but…uh…swimming is good? Look, that’s all I got. The hybrids scare me too. I’m just glad I’m only the list writer and not the person who actually has to do this stuff. Wait, what? Oh….damn.
7. Do the things on the to do list this time. It’s important that you accomplish goals before you die from a poisonous spider bite to the face.
If there’s one thing I’m really thankful for, is that my memory card is so full of
useless highly important photos, that I can’t take pictures of half the things that are troubling me, and possibly you as a reader, right now. But I think it’s for the best that you don’t see the torrential display of clothes in my room. Some things just can’t be unseen.