Dear Supreme Ruler of the Cosmic Universe,
I know my birthday has already come and gone, but I was too busy partying like a rockstar entertaining guests this weekend to ask you for a special birthday wish. This year, for my belated birthday present, I kindly ask that you give me more time. More time to knit, that is. You see, I’ve calculated how many hours I spend every week not knitting. It’s a lot. A lot more than I would like.
Can you give me a time suspending device that I can turn on when I feel the urge to knit (which quite possibly might be all the time)? I understand that with great power comes great responsibility. And I promise that I will only use this device for good! There are so many new techniques I’d like to learn and so many gifts I’d like to make for some very deserving people. You see? It’s a selfless thing I’m trying to do over here. I just need a little help getting some more time. Thank you for your consideration.
Your humble servant,
PS. I would also like to point out that I’ve been very good this year and have references.
PPS. I cross my heart that the first thing I make with my new time suspending device will be a sweet raglan sweater for you. I know it must be cold up there in the universe.