Archives for posts with tag: responsibility

I have a problem.  I make unnecessary yarn purchases (but really they’re necessary…at least this is what a fiber addict in denial would say).  My eyes are bigger than my knitting hands.  For every three skeins of yarn that I purchase, I probably knit one.  Even so, the purchasing and the collecting and the stashing just keeps happening accidentally.  I blame working part time in a yarn store, staring at yarn all day, “fluffing” the yarn, doing research (ie. flipping through new pattern books).  It can make a knitter crazy!!  Crazy I tell you.  Don’t even get me started on the enabling coworkers who agree that you must purchase that skein of yarn.  You simply must.

A couple weekends ago, I went down to the Blue Moon Fiber Arts Barn Sale and came home with not one, not two, let’s skip right past three, because I came home with four skeins of yarn.  Granted two were on sale, but sheesh.  I don’t even know if I like knitting socks yet.  Why do I feel so compelled to buy sock yarn?!

Then there was that day that I came home from work with THREE skeins of Madelintosh Sock so I can make Color Affection.  It’s not something I’m proud of.

So I did what any sane and responsible person with a problem does: I banned myself from buying any more yarn until I can knit through 75% of my current stock.  Then I headed to the nearest fabric store and came home with this:

If being wrong means that I can’t have a stash, hell, I don’t want to be right.

Or I should say: the Freshy’s been lazy and has abandoned post (har har).  I think about knitting like I think about going to the pool to do laps, which is often and hardly leads to any real action.  I wish just thinking about something would produce results.  Unfortunately, my mental faculties are the only thing living in the land of make believe and that sort of thing doesn’t happen in the realm of reality.  pshh…physics….  Well after a month or so of sitting and thinking, I have finally decided to take action.  Hoozah! Let’s hear it for the TO DO LIST!

1.  Upload your photos from Argentina.  Really, this is getting ridiculous.  Also your memory card is full, genius.  Perhaps you should consider uploading all your pictures so you can take more pictures of yarn.  Duuh.

2.  Put your clothes away.  It’s bad enough that it deters you from inviting people over, but it’s getting rather tiresome curling into a small ball in the corner of the bed.  Ya, that’s gross.  Fix that.

3.  Clean your desk.  I’m pretty sure there’s a spider infestation in there and they’re getting bigger every time I see one.  I’d rather not wake up to a giant spider hovering above my head ready to bite my face off.  Although, come to think of it, the spider infestation might be coming from the pile of clothes on the bed….Whatever.  Just.  Please…take care of that.  Thanks.

4.  See those half finished socks?  They’re sad because they don’t have heels.  Knit them some fucking heels already.  ‘Nuff said.

5.  Your plant is dying.  It is dead.  Dead plants scare other living plants.  Living plants look at me with scornful eyes.  Please bury dead plant and buy new happy living plant to boost morale.

6.  Listen, it’s not right that you sleep in so late everyday.  Do yourself a favor, wake up early and go to the pool.  I know the dolphin-human hybrids intimidate you, but…uh…swimming is good?  Look, that’s all I got.   The hybrids scare me too.  I’m just glad I’m only the list writer and not the person who actually has to do this stuff.  Wait, what?  Oh….damn.

7.  Do the things on the to do list this time.  It’s important that you accomplish goals before you die from a poisonous spider bite to the face.

If there’s one thing I’m really thankful for, is that my memory card is so full of useless highly important photos, that I can’t take pictures of half the things that are troubling me, and possibly you as a reader, right now.  But I think it’s for the best that you don’t see the torrential display of clothes in my room.  Some things just can’t be unseen.

As we reach the end of the year, I’ve been seriously contemplating finding a real life wizard to turn me into a squirrel, because they don’t have to do anything but eat nuts and get fat.  I eat nuts of the salted variety, but it’s not helping.  Maybe I should go for the unsalted?  [Insert gratuitous nut joke here.]

So, I clearly have not been a-blogging in a while and it’s mostly because I’ve run into a huge fucking wall of nuts, aka responsibility.  I fucking hate that asshole, Responsibility.  Such a jerk.  He makes me go to my job to earn my keep and pay my bills, forces me to study so I can get a good grade in a class that probably won’t mean anything to me a month from now, chides me when I don’t clean the toilet, and highly encourages me to bathe in order to become an upstanding member of society.  Fuck that guy.  Some days, I want to call in sick, rip up my homework and sit in my own filth and disgust, eating Cap’n Crunch with chocolate syrup drizzled on top.  Ya that sounds pretty awesome.  Maybe I’ll get off my fat ass and knit something, maybe I won’t.  Maybe I’ll wash my hands after I go pee, maybe I won’t.  And maybe I’ll give a shit…but most likely, I won’t.  But I digress.

I think the point of my bah humbug rant is that I’m trying to get the [yarn] ball rolling during this very festive time of the year.  I’m feeling a little overwhelmed and unaccomplished with only 2 weeks to go until Christmas.  I mean, who is this Christmas anyways, and why does he insist on imposing all of his obligations and deadlines on me every year?  I’m trying hard to be diligent about knitting gifts for people, but it just seems like the things that I like doing the least always seem to get in the way.

This year, everyone gets nuts.

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