pongoo | Yarn Over Matter

Let me tell you a little something about 2011: they have robots here. Robots that will knit for you. I’ve captured some proof for those of you skeptical of my findings:

Maybe you’re a little distrusting of robots. There’s that whole idea that these same robots performing menial tasks for you will someday turn against humans in an effort to save and protect them. [see: I, Robot] For now, I think they’re pretty cool. And I’ll probably be an old hag sitting on a rocking chair cursing some knitting project by the time they decide to hook me up to a machine and drain the remaining bits of energy from my body to be used in batteries [see: The Matrix].

So now that we got that out of the way, let me share another fact about 2011. There aren’t any devil shawls here to knit! Booyah, bitches!!

I’m totally doing my victory dance, shaking my ass in the monitor. Woops, I pongoo’d. Let me distract you with images from the blocking process. It will help you forget that I farted in your face.

Yarn Over »

The last couple of days I’ve been rather preoccupied with a bit of sewing.

I have a pretty haphazard way of going about things when I sew. I like to cut, then measure, then cut, then sew, then measure, then cut again, then sew in all my frayed ends in again. I don’t know why I do this. Especially because I think I’m pretty good about figuring out my knitting guage and making swatches.

I guess I just feel like sewing is faster, so I can screw off more? Maybe? Or maybe it’s because I’m really inexperienced with sewing? Yes, I think we’re getting closer. The real reason is probably that I don’t care because, well, it’s a bag, for shit’s sake.

Well, here it is….crooked sewing lines and all:

I got the idea from here, but modified it a little (mostly by accident). I think I had some really high expectations; I think I need to stop having those when I sew. But, in the end, it came out looking like a bag, which is all I can ask for.

In other news: My fellow kimchi lover and I made a huge-ass batch of it the other night.

I’m really excited to eat it; it’s an excellent way to produce deadly toxins to release out of your butts near/towards/on each other. Just another fun game we like to play.

Here’s your chance to learn something new!! “Pongoo” is Korean for “fart”.

Now, try using it in a sentence: I eat a lot of kimchi, so I can pongoo on my boyfriend/girlfriend.

The Future is Here

Bitch of a Different Stitch

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