Archives for category: Random

I hate hate hate chain letters.  I hate when people send chain letters.  I hate that I always want to participate in chain letters despite the fact that which I said in the first two sentences.

That being said, I’ve been nominated (thanks Steven) for a liebster blog award (does this mean that Steven thinks I’m cool?) and I’m participating in this crazy cockamany thing for a few reasons:

1.  It’s my birthday and I do what I want today, and this week, and next week and pretty much all month.  Because I’m the birthday girl and I deserve it.

2. I’m waiting for my homemade coconut ice cream (ya you heard me) to freeze so I can eat it.

3. Even though my wish to date that one cool skater guy (read with 10+ yrs of hindsight: douchebag) in high school with bleach blonde (read 10 yrs later: ugly as shit) hair never came true after I sent out that stupid stupid chain letter Freshman year, I don’t want to die a horrible death for not doing this one.  Of course, I know that it’s very unlikely and I’m not even following all the rules.  Whatever.  See reason number 1.

4. I don’t have any knitting stuff to show you today because I’m not allowed to buy any more yarn and I’m being kind of bitter about it.

So here we go…eleven random things about yours truly after the jump (in no particular order!!)

Yarn Over »

So it’s been well over a week and I feel like I should update my To Do list from the previous post.  As I look back on the last week, it would appear that I completed item 2 and….uh…ya.  Item 2.  I did that.  I put my clothes away.

Listen, let’s just focus on the things I did do this last week and not the things I didn’t.

1.  I finished test knitting a hat for Sillylittlelady.  Keep an eye out for her pattern, because it is the cutest slouch hat ever!

2.  I learned how to knit and read at the same time this week too.  Granted it was mostly stockinette knitting and I was reading Harry Potter, but still.  Speaking of Harry Potter!!  Who else saw the movie this weekend?  And who else was so overrun with emotion that they cried during the whole thing?  No?  You didn’t cry?  Um, ya…I didn’t either.  I’m tough.  I don’t do that….

3.  I went on a hike after work and planned out the rest of my summer’s activities.  Yes, the whole summer has been planned.  I wrote it down in my dayplanner, with a pen.  I know there are things called smartphones and google, but I like the permanence of paper and pen.  Maybe that’s why I didn’t follow my internet to do list…

4.  I put my clothes away and then I made peanut butter cookies.  Because sometimes after you put away your dirty clothes, you need to reward yourself with a cookie.  True story.

My blog sucks without pictures.  Words, words, words… super lame.  I’m half tempted to just buy another memory card so that I won’t have to dump my photos on my computer and go through the agonizing process of sorting.  I’m that person.  Except, I do wash my underwear instead of buying new ones.  I promise.

Next blog post: Photos sans words.  For real.

Dear Yarn,

I’m sorry I haven’t unpacked you yet.  I see you over there in your cold, dark cardboard box home and I’m sad.  And now I’m a little scared.  Because you look angry with me.  Please, I didn’t mean to hurt you with my absence.  Please don’t get mad and spontaneously tangle yourselves up with each other in there.  I understand if that’s what happens, because I often do things to get attention from people that I love.  Even if it is negative attention.  But I’m told that this isn’t healthy.  Instead you should focus on working into a cute cardigan or even a cozy blanket.  Turn that anger into something positive!  Oh I see…you’re going to give me the silent treatment.  Real mature, yarn. Real mature.

Regards,

Your knitter.

Dear Neighbor,

Thank you for being genuinely nice and understanding when I asked you to move your bed a few inches away from the wall.  I’m happy you get hot hot sex all the time.  I’m a little jealous of your hot hot sex.  You didn’t get mad at me when I nervously approached you about this issue.  And when I offered you my clammy hand for an introductory shake, you didn’t flinch…much.  I get nervous and sweat a lot when I have to confront people about their sex lives.  You seem to have a great one, by the way.  Anyways, thank you and sorry for being an awkward, smelly, weirdo.  One day I will bring you cookies or cinnamon buns and we can forget it ever happened.

Sincerely,

No Longer Sleepless in Seattle

Dear Earplugs,

Wow.  Thank you for existing.  You complete me.

Love,

Your BFFF

Dear Amaryllis,

You are awesome.  Thank you for blooming as soon as I moved into my new place.  You must love me.  Or it could be the fact that this place is brighter and warmer than that old piece of shit home we used to live in.  I’m going to pretend that you waited this long to bloom for me.  Because you knew I would need it.  You’re a genius.  Let’s be friends forever.  Or until you die.  Which I hope isn’t for a while, because friends don’t wish that on each other.

Heart,

Me

I met someone really interesting last night.  This person has bright eyes, a great sense of style, amazing charisma, and a red winder.  She might be the perfect match for K2P2.

I met her through a mutual friend, B, at a dinner party and according to him, her name is Herb.  At least I think that’s what he said; I still don’t understand what my four year old friend says sometimes.  I told B that I have a robot friend too.

B: Is he under your bed?

Me: No, I don’t think he’s under my bed.  He might be on my coffee table actually.

B: Can he come over and play some time?

Me:  Totally.

And that is how I set up a blind date for K2P2.

My mind is a scary place to be.  If I weren’t me, I wouldn’t want to be.  Contrariwise, since I am me, I spend most of my day freaking out.  And because you aren’t me (even though I know you totally want to be), I’m letting you in on what’s been on my mind this last week (because I can tell you’re dying to know).

First to bat: why do Amy’s Cheddar Bunnies taste like band aids?  And why did I spend money on something that made me think of licking dirty band aids while I was eating it?  Does anyone else get this exquisite taste while eating their organic cheese friends?  I think the most disturbing thing about this is that despite the taste, I ate it all.

Supposedly I’m dehydrated.  I try to remind myself to drink water, but I forget.  This is probably why I get dizzy when I work out with Jillian Michaels.  Damn, that B is scary.  She should put out a video that shows her just sitting in a chair drinking water and yelling at the camera.  I would totally start drinking water then.

How many days until Christmas?  Four?!?  I should probably give up sleeping and start knitting instead, because these xmas gifts aren’t going to knit themselves.  I can’t go into details about my current projects, but here’s a sneak peak into what I’m knitting:

I really wanted to see Black Swan this week, but I can’t knit in the dark.  Is there such thing as glow-in-the-dark yarn?  If not, I need to get on it.  I also need to go to the gym, but I wonder if people will look at me funny if I start knitting on the exercise bike.  I think knitting and cycling would go perfectly together.  What could go wrong?

Yarn Over »

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