As we reach the end of the year, I’ve been seriously contemplating finding a real life wizard to turn me into a squirrel, because they don’t have to do anything but eat nuts and get fat. I eat nuts of the salted variety, but it’s not helping. Maybe I should go for the unsalted? [Insert gratuitous nut joke here.]
So, I clearly have not been a-blogging in a while and it’s mostly because I’ve run into a huge fucking wall of nuts, aka responsibility. I fucking hate that asshole, Responsibility. Such a jerk. He makes me go to my job to earn my keep and pay my bills, forces me to study so I can get a good grade in a class that probably won’t mean anything to me a month from now, chides me when I don’t clean the toilet, and highly encourages me to bathe in order to become an upstanding member of society. Fuck that guy. Some days, I want to call in sick, rip up my homework and sit in my own filth and disgust, eating Cap’n Crunch with chocolate syrup drizzled on top. Ya that sounds pretty awesome. Maybe I’ll get off my fat ass and knit something, maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll wash my hands after I go pee, maybe I won’t. And maybe I’ll give a shit…but most likely, I won’t. But I digress.
I think the point of my bah humbug rant is that I’m trying to get the [yarn] ball rolling during this very festive time of the year. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed and unaccomplished with only 2 weeks to go until Christmas. I mean, who is this Christmas anyways, and why does he insist on imposing all of his obligations and deadlines on me every year? I’m trying hard to be diligent about knitting gifts for people, but it just seems like the things that I like doing the least always seem to get in the way.
This year, everyone gets nuts.